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sleeping in

i took the day off of most of my work. called out. i texted jeremy again, he just doesn't respond... it's ok, i'm ok with being the scapegoat, i laugh because i know everytime i say 'what's up' to him he gets all snooty (but just in his head) and flouncess away all uber stoic and gay, but just in his head...
why didn't i tell you? because you knew already... and if you can't lsten to your own self... then...?
again the lack of emotion, just smiling and shaking my head and knowing that a year ago this would have been so anxiety provoking as to render me stuck in the nest freaking out. i just deeply don't care other than looking at it as a silly part of the ride. doesn't stop my good-bad-doer from wanting to jump in and go "poof, betch!" i really want to poof things...
i like this whole "AND what" mentality. i like just saying what i think... or knowing when to back off. sometimes it still takes me a while to say things.
i think it may be time to get my other nostril pierced...
everything nothing everything nothing everything nothing
everything i ask for - not enough, when is enough enough? when will you be satisfied when will i be satisfied when will the world be satsfied. is satisfied like pacified.
i want some kind of pacifier. some little doohicky bob that my soul can just suck on to keep from having to wonder where my second mommy went.
sometimes i wonder if its real - the pictures i get. It seems a shame really. would have could have been important. would have could have been quaint.
but would you trade it for this?
well, are you happy with this?
no, it's not enough. it might be too much and once you get to too much, it's past enough. but then you realize that you've developed this taste for more. eating jalepenos right out of the jar, mutherfuckers.
don't you love the way your mouth burns and you have to eat more to keep it from burning.
i love my eyebrows
so you realize the meaning of just letting it follow it's path... like, if you think about it, it just gets all fucked up... if you just swing with it.
so i only date couples. i don't know why... i often wonder: where will this path lead, oh higher self? if i want a farm and babies, how do i propose that i get this dating couples. there is a high potential for disaster. he likes her too much she likes him... that's the weakness and the strength: must keep distance. distance is good and bad... avoidance? no. allowance is what it feels like. fine lines to walk. like finding the very edges and instertions. al's right... a wuiet revolution going on: allowance invading our homes. too bad about hot dad... mmm i love hot dad...**drool***
mmm leftover chinese food...



I want your prescription.

your mom

I miss you.

Im gonna eat fried rice soon, goddamnit. Maybe even with newcastle.

This time and space shit. I mean...it keeps things interesting, but....why cant every once and a while everyone everyone everyone I love hang in the nest and eat fried rice.

I want to live in nature. where there is dirt.

Camilla believes Im an alien. probly she's right. This is a love that crosses the universe or somehting.

Everyone Im around works for universities.
Everyone in this city does bodywork and teaches yoga.

Im at Marias house organizing her receipts.
or, rather....Im commenting on your blog and playing with the shiatsu machine.

oh, and,

yer mom

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