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acupuncture (cont'd)

yeah, I was talking to our (red and I, that is) acupuncturist this morning about what the hell is up with my yin... and he said that from an esoteric standpoint, it has to do with recieving... i also thought that i has a strong propensity to "do" stuff about how i feel... like, i wanted to break-up with Josh becuase i felt like i had to "do" something about differences between us (like football and videogames... eewwww) and i realized that i don't have to do anything, but i can recieve what is good about us, of which there is a lot... also, mr. stillpoint (the acupuncturist) said something about smoking (pot) being about closing yourself off from recieving love... and then i had this thought that maybe i love josh, but i'm hesitant to use that word because it is so abstract to be... ("jane says i've never been in love, i don't know what it is. she only knows when someone wants her.") and then i thought that really, i was going to break up with him because i'm closing myself off from being loved... making reasons that we are wrong, when the fact is, it is the easiest relstionship in my life, it just happens without trying... and that feels weird to me... so yeah... i'm totally learning all of those things in this lifetime... i'm glad i'm doing it during my quarter-life crisis than when i'm like 50... Red, you are so f-ing smart that it freaks me out.. because besides my gemini, i am basically all virgo and cancer... and i also have digestion problems associated with my anxiety which probably has to do with how my breath (diaphragm movement) is affecting my intestinal tract... my pooper has been broken a lot... not recently so much... but damn, you're good...


Mr. Stillpoint is hot.

yeah... his hottness is in large part due to his age-ambiguousness... i wish i was hot... sigh...

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