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once again I am facing what might be the core question of humanity: what do you do when you know that what you have right now is going to go away?
[lets face it] we're all going to die, but somehow must accept that we're alive right now.

what do you do when something you love stands before you. something that
has gone away before.
has left you beofre.
has forgotten there was anything other
has cussed you out, chased you out
shut you out, chased anything else
not noticed
never known

Do you open wide and swallow it whole while it still seems to hold space? Or, do you hold back and protect your future heart from its invevitable pain?

Do you let yourself say feel the okay-ness and say "forever" in as much as it is the only thing big enough to fill this moment? or do you say, "nothing is true forever", meaning...probably its not even true for you right now.

how much do you let yourself believe?


taste it, Andy. its delicious.
run hard in the beautiful sun. chase it past the horizon.
again and again your heart breaks open.

"Everything in and about ourlives runs off the fuel of our hearts. We will all have experiences meant to 'break our hearts'--not in half but wide open. Regardless of how your heart is broken, your choice is always the same: What will you do with your pain? Will you use it as an excuse to give fear more authority over you, or can you release the authority of the physical world over you through an act of forgiveness? The question contained within the fourth chakra will be presented to you again and again in your life untill the answer you give becomes your own liberation."
--Carolyn Myss

I want to know what it is to feel loved.
I want my skin to be soft.
I want to feel young before I get too old.


i'm trying to remember if i ever didn't feel 80 or 4... ever notice that babies look like old people? i think being birthed makes you tired...

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