the Divine Ms. L...

The spell is on us again. In our minds we see the cycles; but our hearts are still in the center. Far outside—our skin, our bodies, our families, our worlds—she sits and laughs at the circle she has spun. She knows that, when we have no where else to look, we will start looking up.

She is beautiful. And she wants to be seen.

She also knows that God is even more in the tradjedies only because we remember to look for Her. And, Leela, she knows that this is how we will know Joy: We feel and look until we can't look anymore. Together, they will laugh untill we stop looking and see.

And then, we will laugh with them.

But for now, I have found myself crying. The end of frustration--that it all could crack open. Revealing a deeper Joy than could ever have been felt before knowing its void. (again.) And I pray: dear Jesus (Kirshna, Buddha, Moses) please help me pull my head out my ass. Because I know I am distracted.

Still,
they laugh as our worlds disappear,
and they laugh as new ones come.
Shinning and laughing. There She is.
She is beautiful, Take Her.

and, actually, it is us moving Her. Our actions creating these cycles---our bodies--this mass that She circles. And as She looks to us, She pulls on us. Locked in the circle we have spun; tossing back to us our own reflection.

Our lover, our torment; our daughter, our mother.

And I look to you, mothers, to see myself: right now, where I come from, where I'm going. And we have all been eachother's mother a million times before. We are our own, and everyone's, origin.

That is only to say that it's okay we need eachother. sometimes, we need to be seen by ourself from another location. by another able to see through their self enough to reflect back you. And maybe we have been told to only look in--that we don't need anything from outside at all. Or, maybe we have been told to only look out--and that we can't know. But sometimes, oftentimes, it is the case that Grace moves through people. Being the channel in the moment that makes all the difference in a feedback loop where it doesn't matter anymore the direction, just that the Grace moves through.
But you have to be there enough to see.

And, we are all being pulled.
I don't know what She feels, but from here.
I see Her shinning.

I was reminding someone today to remember that when they are suffering, the reason to go through it is to get to something else---not to stay in the suffering of the past or create more. And that if we ever think that we see a reason that things are as they are that is anything other than Joy, that is still the distraction.
That, if we were ever to see the true nature of things, it would only be pure Joy.

I asked her if any of this sounded right to her, and she said:

"yes. I know it.
But I keep forgeting.
and I keep forgeting,
and I keep forgeting,
and I keep forgeting."

I think that forgeting is kind-of part of the deal.
and each time,
the moon:
she laughs again.