why motorcycles are AWESOME!
1. they turn in BOTH popular directions: LEFT and RIGHT.
2. even slow bikes feel fast when you ride without a helmet.
3. engine vibration coming up through the seat makes for scrumptious genital tingliness.
4. because God told me so. and that nigga's crazy.
5. your mom.
6. riding soothes the spirit - like a yoga class, except without being surrounded by crazy wild-eyed whiny bitches with Daddy issues and eating disorders.
7. motorcycles are... well, they're like penises. Shiny chromed and painted penises that are real loud and can do wheelies.
8. penis penis penis... penis anus penis... anus penis.
9. cuz i look cool on a bike. And i'm a dork.
10. your mom.
11. they use fossil fuels, the energy source the Good Lord wants us to use.
12. It's a fact: 8 out of 10 Crystal Meth addicts love motorcycles. You don't want to argue with those motherfuckers.
13. your Mom likes my motorcycle. At least that what I think she said. The pillow was muffling her words again.
14. while riding a motorcycle, all you're dealing with is the road and the cool fresh wind in your face as opposed to, say... trying to come up with a non-offensive response to the question "Does my ass look fat?" while trying NOT to stare at the orange Cheetos dust covering her hands like a glove.
Comments
did you know:
you can love mollie and you dont have to hate me.
Posted by: princess | June 15, 2007 01:30 PM
??!!??!?!!!
Posted by: brown_slice | June 15, 2007 02:04 PM
well....you were writing about motorcycles and then I think---maybe im crazy--i think you are refering to me asking if my ass looked fat with cheetoes dust on my fingers....
im just saying....i love you, and
you used to be the one that made me feel better about myself than anyone in the world. maybe parts of me want to go back. i dont think you are consciously tearing me down, but
subtle ways
one working theory is tha you have to detach from me and saying that stuff makes it easier. the other worrking theory is that you are being your asshole self. that I will always respect.
Posted by: red | June 15, 2007 09:54 PM
i know you are helping me out as we speak. but I cant tell you how much that stuff hurts. really.
Posted by: red | June 15, 2007 09:57 PM
well, i think the irony of not eating all day then having cheetos and feeling guilty about it because cheetos make you feel like shit no matter what is just too much irony to not want to make more irony to go with it...
Posted by: fur | June 19, 2007 09:19 PM
i have NO IDEA what you just said.
Posted by: brown_slice | June 19, 2007 09:26 PM