maniacalicious
I realized sometime in the last 20 minutes that I've entered into a maniacal phase.
I know from past experience that these phases typically last anywhere between a few days and a few years.
Also typical of the cycle: when I emerge from the more prevalent narcissistic self-absorbed habit of obsessing on my own stupidity into the awareness of the Galactic Stupidity all around me that passes for normal and OK.
but it's not OK.
my own lameness = not OK.
everyone else's... just as not-OK.
Sooooo..... my behavior becomes so unpredictable that even I don't know what I'm gonna do from one second to the next.
I think that my Dad not being around (and somewhat maniacal himself) has more than a little to do with it. so there's that vacuum in the Universe where his dumbfounded shock and disdain used to be.
Also, I've discovered that some people (and you know who you are, Baby) respond quite well to non-maniacal. But many others... they don't respond. They don't respond to pleading. They don't respond to Rational Discourse. They don't respond to Loving-kindness. They don't respond to Respectful Requests.
I try to be nice. I give them nice. Plenty nice.
But they demand an Asshole.
"By your command"
I will be Pimpy. I will be kind. I will work it out by any means necessary. whatever it takes.
Sometimes getting lost in the Game... gnashing about like a wild animal.
Oh well. That's what you get for not fucking listening.
Comments
it is impossible not to click on the swirling rainbow.
impossible.
Posted by: presley | June 1, 2007 09:02 PM