DADDY sez...

So i been going through this 'thing'. I wouldn't call it a funk because Blue is only one facet of it.

I'm not what you'd call an emotional person, not all fiery and raging - I'm pretty subdued. Not chill, but subdued - keeping everything inside most of the time.

Not a raconteur either. Don't usually find myself spouting anecdotes, filling all the empty spaces with words and putting folks at ease. Yeah, the babbling and "conversation": not my thing.

In fact my normal low amount of talking has been reduced lately to near nothing.

I've cut even e-mail and phone traffic down to nothing. It's weird without voices blaring and text spewing out of this magical little device called a "cell phone". What is this called? Oh yeah: here-and-now.

Add to that: somehow flowed into an atypical hyper-emotional mode. From the outside I don't think anyone has noticed, but I been living on a continuous hairy edge of breaking down for like 3 weeks. Anytime, anywhere triggered by the smallest of things: someone or something I see, a thought, the wind... fuckin' anything.

Things have been hitting me right in the heart - not sure what happened to the protective layers. Something made about three-and-a-half decades worth of armor fall away. Go figure.

These deep emotions come flowing through, both joy and sadness. This is a place I've been to but have never stayed. Something is keeping me here.

For as little as I've been talking, somehow I still make people mad .

I got yelled at the other night for saying "food is good" three times. Getting vented on is always a shock to the system, but never surprising. Seems to happen a lot with me.

I bet if I was totally mute, people could still get angry with me. I'm able to tell the tiniest little happy stories and have everyone get all bent; the darkest motives assumed about my intentions.

I'm hungry.